Dependence

As I was walking through Sam's parking lot this morning, I was starting to get a bit frustrated.  I was trying to carry Brilee while holding onto Lilly's hand while Sean was clutching onto one of my legs.  I needed to get my Sam's card out of my wallet and I thought, "when in the world will my hands ever be free?"  But then it hit me out of nowhere--I'm not ready for my hands to be free!  It is the best feeling in the world for your children to be so little and SO dependent on me.  They look to me for everything--which I admit is the frustrating part of motherhood--drink refills, more crackers, please, help me tie my shoes, etc., etc.  I haven't realized how much I really LOVE their dependence until I thought about what would I be doing without them?

At that moment I hugged Brilee a little tighter, tenderly squeezed Lilly's hand a bit tighter, and looked down at Sean and said, "I love you buddy!" to which I got the biggest grin.  That's been the highlight of my day--my children loving me despite my frustration and their desperate desire to cling to me.

How I want to cling to my heavenly father even more.  I don't want my children to be independent of me any more than God would want me to be independent of Him.  Total and utter dependence is what I need more than anything.   This put a different perspective on the rest of my day and all that I need to accomplish.

Finally, these pictures have nothing to do with my blog post, but I've been meaning to do a post about them for a couple of weeks now but just haven't had the time.  I took some pictures of Lilly toting around her purse, which she manages to cram ALL of her most treasured toys into.  She loves acting like a little mommy carrying her purse with her ponies, bunnies & princesses inside while pushing either the baby stroller or shopping cart.  I love this little girl and so happy to be her mommy.